food nostalgia

i may not miss the used tissue littered on the floor or the grimy greasy chipped china dishware, but oh the thought of noodles just kneaded, twirled, and trimmed into pork broth and thrown in front of me steaming .. brings a tear.some of the food im dreaming about.

FALSE ORANGE ALERT WARNING

ATTENTION INNOCENT BLOG READERS:
THIS IS A FALSE ORANGE ALERT. Agent Orange has done nothing wrong. I mean, anyone who wears smart IA-looking glasses can do know wrong!

Please be warned. Agent Jade is twicky. She actually tortures chinese girls whose faces are too round. then she throws peanuts at them.
- Signed: Agent Tofu

Fire Breathing Dragon

Agent Jade in pursuit of Asian Orange

Please notify immediately if any asian matching the picture is found roaming or stealing noodles. Culprit may be posing as intellectual or sophisticated IA.

all the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey...

Ni Hau Vancouver...

despite the lack of laksa, and absence of ais cachang, i'm so very happy to be back..

something wonderfully comforting about the quiet, the scarves and hats, and smiling vancouver faces.. we all say we dread winter, but honestly i think everyone of you vancouverites has a secret attachment to it. Oh and then there's pumpkin pie, if any of you out there make yummy pies, i'm glad to accept an invitation..

Miss you asian orange.. where are you? has the internet swallowed you up again?

Serenity in Sipadan

Pictures of paradise. All thanks to cousin Allister. He is ninja. Actually, he is even more AWESOME than ninja. Think of the most awesome-est person you have ever encountered - he is even more awesome than him/her. Well, we think so anyway :)

Tribute to Babar

There are no words which can accurately reflect how it feels to be sitting in a small motorboat, docked up on the banks of the Sabah rainforest, listening to the crunching and crackling of the lush grass while the bushes rustle. It's as if a dinosaur is going to appear any minute and devour you the way we devour pork buns.

And then you see the eyes belonging to the Pigmy Elephant, 2 shiny black beads peeking through the long grass. They glisten with wisdom, as if to say: "I am so much bigger than who you are. I have already seen more things than you will ever see, and have lived a life with a magnitude that you will never fully comprehend."

Even the photos do not do justice. But here is our attempt to try:

Random Acts of Kaijanne-ness

Kaija: aka "Agent Jade" undercover in Shanghai, attempting to discover the secrets of the famous Shanghai dumplings, the 'siau loong bao':



Anne: aka "Agent WOW Loong Bao" undercover in Shanghai, attempting to crack the code on how the girls in China can eat so much white bread and egg noodles, yet stay so damn skinny:



Pizza Hut in Shanghai: "DEFINATELY not the same! They don't even have cheese stuffed crust! But the pizza tin soldier does deliver to bunk bed in dorm of hostel" - quote from a reliable source



Fun in the sun in Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia:












Our new friends:

Fooding a la Malaysia

So we totally thought we were going to lose weight on this trip. I mean, seeing though we would live on a diet comprised of tropical fruit and the heat would help with the weight loss...right? What? Deep fried banana fritters don't count as fruit? I guess they'll be just more of us to love :)

Shown here: Kaija and our ice kachang dessert friend @ the market, Mee Goreng noodle madness!, Laksa: rice noodles in a tangy lemongrass coconut broth playing w/ other yummy flavors, Bananas: so sweet!, Rambutan: our new fuzzy fruit favourite

cheeky monkey

we've become very skeptical of package toury-type expenditures but after anne tortured us with climbing Kota Kinabalu [like a five hour Grouse Grind in a tropical forest only to reach the top to find a storm and a room at the comfortable temperature of five degrees].. a day of mindlessly following a guide sounded just about right.

We set out for the village of Garama on a board walk through mud flats dotted with huge palm oil trees and boarded a boat into the thick coffee like salt-water river, eyes open wide, in search of monkeys and alligators [not to worry, our guide ensured us they are vegetarian]

the two hour ride was amazingly peaceful. The warm air seemed to grab on slightly to our faces from the salty muggy breeze, it smelt sweet and fresh {like the air that hits you walking into that tropical room at the acquarium}. we went right in the calm before sunset, the sky was grey but the foliage was intensely green. The banks were lined with 30 foot palms and large trees that sent branches vertically down, reaching into the river bank creating the mangroves. Some remains of old water villages could be seen, but the local fishermen had deserted the river for the luxuries of power and running water elsewhere.

besides the motor, only bird and water-hen calls could be heard, until we luckily came across the sound of monkey's crashing and jumping between trees! The large proboscis monkey was the most common we saw, in colonial days the locals found a resemblance between us foreigners and these large-nosed, round-bellied animals. check out the picks, odd looking animal!We also saw the silver leaf monkey, a shy species that hadnt showed themselves for weeks apparently and who now bears the name 'Beckham' for its hair style! The cheeky monkey showed up briefly, these are the ones that steal the fruits and just about anything else from the locals homes.

after another board walk, watching the sun set and seeing some water buffalo and even an eagle, dinner was served: all local favourites like curries, meat and fish with veggies and the essential chilli sauce, and tasty local fruits served under a lamp lit sago palm roofed patio looking out into marsh and jungle. It was also lined by trees glowing with firefly's. Flickering on, off, and having a distinct christmas tree resemblance. the tourists were delighted, so much so that they FLASHED photo after photo trying to catch the glow ?!

then we headed back to KK in our 'mini bas', during which me and anne giggled like small children the entire way, in our usual fashion of alienating [and annoying] the other quiet travellers. we are the same here as at home.

Shanghai Afternoon Typhoon

So we left Vancouver and travelled halfway around the world to escape "Rain". But Rain's stronger, older brother, "Typhoon", somehow tracked us down and wanted to play with us in Shanghai.

Apparently this was one of the worst typhoons to hit the region in 50 years. To us, it seemed like just another rainy day in Vancouver.

During our post-typhoon afternoon tea break, we sit back and ponder our thoughts (as we often do): What type of meat is in the dumplings when they are just called "dumping" on the menu, how people can perform electrical work on the streets beside puddles with no safety gear while children run around...etc. This time, the question is:
"Typhoon vs. hurricane vs. monsoon? What are the differences in these storms? or are they different names for the same thing?"
ANSWER:
"A 'MONSOON' is the same for a seasonal wind. It had its origins around the Arabian Sea, where winds blow from the northeast for six months of the year, then from the southwest for the other six months of the year.
The term is now used in other parts of the world.

In the United States, the 'MONSOON SEASON' occurs when summer's upper-level ridge of high pressure sets up over the Great Plains, and the clockwise flow around it sends humidity from the Gulf Coast region back into and across the Desert Southwest. Suddenly, normally arid places such as Phoenix, Las Vegas and Palm Springs have just enough humidity in the air for thunderstorms to develop during the afternoon hours which then last into the evening hours. This normally takes place from late July through August, lasting into September. Some years, it's more noticeable than others. Some years it lasts longer than others. This year, with the upper-level ridge so huge and strong it has started earlier than normal.


a typhoon is just what they call a hurricane in the pacific. Both hurricanes and typhoons are tropical cyclones. Hurricanes are a bit more specifically defined than typhoons. The American Heritage dictionary defines a hurricane as a severe tropical cyclone originating in the equatorial regions of the Atlantic Ocean or Caribbean Sea, traveling north, northwest, or northeast from its point of origin, and usually involving heavy rains. The same source describes a typhoon as a tropical cyclone occurring in the western Pacific or Indian oceans"

Things that we find "interesting" about China locals

#1 The Squatting: All the locals don't sit, they squat. Even when there is a bench to sit down on, they will squat ON the bench. For hours. And it's a hard position to maintain - we even tried it! We challenge you all to try squatting, flat-footed (this is the difficult part) for 5 minutes. Hard hey?

#42 The "To-Go" Method: Getting noodles and soup "to-go" consists of dumping your entire bowl of noodle - soup and all - in a small, thin, clear plastic bag and eating it from the bag. Surprisingly, the soup never leaks.

#15 The Gobbing: Everyone here "gobs". This consists of the act of hacking up flem really loudly and spitting it out the window and/or on the floor.

#3 The Honking: They love to honk their horns. They honk when they are about to pass someone. They honk when they are in the process of passing. They honk after they have passed someone. They even honk when they are thinking about passing someone, and that thought has passed. We actually discovered (and tried out ourselves) that the horn has been strategically rewired from the steering wheel to a small, sensitive button on the stick shift, where just the slightest touch will make the horn sound.

Things we love about China:

#3: 1 hour foot massages for less than $6 CDN

#28: Fresh ginger-mint tea

#71: Men sitting around on their street with their shirt pulled up, showing their bellies




Next stop: Yunnan province!

The Great Escape.

They had dashed through the sensory overload of Hong Kong, survived the madness in Guangzhou, and succesfully arrived in Yang Shao. But this was going to be their most difficult mission yet: to escape from the sewer-smelling-hospital-feeling hotel owned by the sneaky and conniving owner they call Thomas who had tricked the 2 noodle ninjas into staying at his crappy hotel for 3 times too much.

It was 6 am. K and An had their bags all packed. Their route all mapped out. The plan was to make a mad dash from the sewer hotel to the heaven hotel 2 blocks down before the crazy pushy sewer hotel owner woke up.

"Ready?" An whispered. K gave the ninja sign for "ready". Just as An reached for the doorknob, there were 3 loud knocks at the door. It was Thomas. It was as if he knew we were about to escape.

"GOOD MORNING!" He bellowed. "We have breakfast for you! You wait here okay?" He gave a slimy smile and gave us the "You better not leave" look.

K and An, horrified, decided to make a make a mad dash for it as soon as the coast was clear and Thomas was out of sight. They raced through the streets and turned the corner, frantically running to the heaven hotel with their big backpacks. Just when they thought the coast was clear, a scooter looking disgustingly familiar was racing towards them. It was Thomas. He had tracked them down.

"Why you leave??? I have breakfast!!! I give you big discount!" He held up two bags of noodles.

After a few minutes of advance noodle ninja negotiating technique, An and K were finally rid of Thomas and headed inside the heaven hotel. Freedom never felt so good.

How to Cross the Street in China a la Frogger

Step 1: Find a crosswalk and wait for the light to change from "don't walk" to "walk"

Step 2: Realize that no one pays any attention to either of these signals.

Step 3: Wait until there is a swarm of people who also need to cross the street and place yourself in the middle of the group so they will shield you from the cars, buses, bikes, scooters, and beggers.

Step 4: Commit, close your eyes, run, and hope for the best!

Homage to Chinese School

Up until I was 14, I used to hate Saturday mornings. I mean, really hate them. Because Saturday mornings meant that everyone else I knew got to watch Saturday morning cartoons while eating pancakes (and as I got older, it meant sleeping in after a night of partying), while I got dragged to Chinese school and go through concentration-camp-like language drills for 6 hours. Through all my grumbles and sulking, my dad told me sternly "Someday, you will appreciate this."

And I did.

On the 30th of August, when we were trying to buy a bus ticket to get out of the hell-hole aka Guangzhou, where no one had a soul, and definitely would not give anyone the time of day if they did not speak Chinese, I finally appreciated all the Saturday mornings I had sacrificed to go to Chinese school.

So thank you Daddy. You were right.

weso.twicky

have been in china for 5 days now and haven't been able to blog due to the china firewall. through some ninja moves and expert computer hacking, we now have a voice. let the blogging begin...

pics from hk

no technical ability for such function

Are we gonna be the only two white people on the plane?? [another clumsy moment of k's]

if you arrive in a hk hotel dripping wet from torrential downpour, you recieve complementary tp roll to clean up at front desk. nice touch.

apparently, in hk they brag that more atms are found than bum holes...?!good thing. very pricey.

it has been a nice suprise that the cantonese in this tropical town are actually very friendly, and the streets are full of fun to be had! green apple cocktails/cucumber lays chips/crustless sandwiches/and pork abound could keep us happy here forever! a town you can never get bored in, thanks to the sensory overload of shiny objects/neon/glorious packaging!! Other than these treats though, no culture shock here, just feels like home, or richmond, funny.

we woke up after four hours sleep dreaming of hot soup and dumplings, only to find that it was 6am and too early, so we supstituted this for some chinese tv watching, where k strangely understood all the chinese jokes, laughing at all the right times, anne almost found out that shes really chinese.

off to real china today! Guanzhou, then to ride boats up the Li river from Yangshou.. ching chong. love you people.

best panda video. eva.

t - 3 days!

returning to the homeland

A pic of us when we were younger. We're excited to return back to our Long Horn tribe!

Read more about our tribe here.

manic monday

Final Countdown approaches, ideas around packing have surfaced, thing is: when your ninjas do you really need to be prepared for such things as a trip to asia?